All Mixed Up: This Social Media Thing

All Mixed Up: This Social Media Thing: I’ve been a member of Facebook for almost two and a half years, now. And I can honestly say that I’ve experienced both the positives and ...

This Social Media Thing

-->

I’ve been a member of Facebook for almost two and a half years, now.  And I can honestly say that I’ve experienced both the positives and the negatives of this social media thing that enmeshes us.

As to the negatives:  Yes, it’s been an interesting couple of years.  Within the first 48 hours of opening my account on FB, I had an ex-boyfriend from college create an account in his former college roommate’s name (someone who I had been good friends with).  My ex-boyfriend used this account to friend-request not just me, but my husband as well, as a way of attempting to stalk me/us.  Thankfully, it only took about two days to figure out what was going on.  I sent him a scathing message about how absolutely loony I thought he was.  And how I clearly made a wise choice some 18 years ago to dump his crazy ass.  I haven’t heard from him since – and I hope not to, ever again.  Good lord – I’m really not that damn special!

Then there was the auto dealership website that my husband discovered, which (supposedly) allows the consumer to rate both dealerships and their sales staff.  My father – now a car salesman – had a short biography written about himself on the site, where he claimed that in his spare time he enjoyed spending time with his wife, children and grandchildren.  The truth is that my parents haven’t had contact with any one of their three children in anywhere from 8 ½ - 16 years.  And they have never met any of their grandchildren.  I was (I think understandably) enraged that my father would use a relationship – or lack thereof – with my children to sell a damn car.  And I aired my outrage as publicly as possible on FB.  Hey!  It made me feel better.  Plus, many of my tried and true friends vowed never to shop that dealership while searching for a car.  My work there was done. 

Those are the two “big ones” that I can think of.  Beyond that, I’ve lost a few “friends” along the way, due to differences of opinion, etc.  Nothing that I’m all that broken up about – and I’m sure they feel the same way.  Again . . . I’m (admittedly) really just not that damn special.  :)

I’ve also had some great experiences as a member of this social media thing.  I’ve reconnected with so many people from my long-ago past:  friends that I hadn’t seen in 20 or 25 years and even some family that I’d fallen out of touch with as a result of my fractured relationship with my parents.  In fact, the main reason I ever opened an account on Facebook was because my husband had discovered his long-lost aunt had her own account.  We were so thrilled to be able to meet her and share things about our lives with her family via this venue.  We’ve gotten to know one another and Facebook makes it oh-so-convenient to stay in touch.

I’ve met new friends, too.  Sometimes through friends of friends and sometimes through the various “groups” I belong to.  It’s amazing how some of those new friends feel like they’ve been around forever – some are truly more like family. 

But on to my most bizarre experience:  When I first created my Facebook account, there were a small number (less than 10) of people who I was very excited to search for and get back in touch with.  Most of these people were school friends from “way back when.” 

There was one friend, Kevin, who was on that list.  I had known Kevin since (I think – it’s been a while) ninth grade.  He played football & wrestled and I cheered for both sports.  Our wrestling team and cheerleading squad, back then, seemed to get along really well. 

Most Saturday nights after matches, everyone would get together at someone’s house.  Oddly, parents were (almost) always involved, too. In fact, they seemed to tag along with their kids to these parties – parents in one room, kids in another . . . food in a third.  If you know anything about wrestling – or more specifically – cutting weight, you know why I’ve mentioned the food. We would watch movies, eat & dance.  I don’t know what it was about our wrestling team but, every one of them seemed to have a crush on The Little Mermaid – a movie we watched frequently at the team’s request.  As an aside: If anyone has an explanation to this mystery – please, please solve it for me, now!  I mean I love that movie, too.  But, a bunch of guys requesting it?  I just don’t get  . . . Never mind.  Another topic for another day.

Any way, back to Kevin! He was a big guy.  (Now, take what I’m saying with a grain of salt.  I’m five feet tall on a good hair and shoe day.  At this point my 4 ½ year old is starting to look tall to me.)  But Kevin was one of the bigger guys in our class – and did a stellar job of representing our wrestling team in the heavyweight weight class the year that we won the [team] State Title.  Beyond being a great athlete, Kevin was intelligent and funny.  He had a knack for saying things in a very authoritative tone of voice and a glint in his eye – always making you wonder whether or not he was serious.  

He did this once to my mom, when he told her that he was going to marry me, someday.  Now, obviously, he was joking.  We were always friends – never dated.  But, boy did he do his best to sell that to my mom.  And holy hell, was it funny to see my mom squirm.  She kept laughing – some who know our family best might say cackling - in this high-pitched, nervous way.  And Kevin just kept staring at her, straight-faced – with just a hint of a twinkle in his eye. 

Nervous laugh.  Staring (slightly twinkling).  Silence.  Repeat.  (x10) 

This story was just one of my many good memories of Kevin.  And when I realized that he didn’t have a Facebook account, I was disappointed to not be able to reconnect with my friend. 

Some months later, I got into a conversation on Facebook with another member of that same State Championship wrestling team and I asked about Kevin.  When my friend told me that he heard Kevin had died in an automobile crash some 13 – 17 years ago, it felt like someone had kicked me in the chest.  I was sad that I never got to reconnect with him to tell him what a great guy I thought he was.  I was also confused that this was the first time I was hearing of such a horrific accident.  For some morbid reason (closure, maybe) I felt compelled to research this sad news.  I don’t know what I intended to do with any details that I might have dug up, but I’m glad that I pursued better information.

After just a few minutes of stealthy investigative work I happily (joyfully) found Kevin alive & well and married, in the San Francisco area!!!  I was able to locate an email address for him and just like that, we were back in touch.  :)

That was months and months ago.  Every once in a blue moon we would check in with each other. 

I’ve recently become involved in planning my twentieth high school reunion. So, I sent Kevin a message filling him in on the scant details.  I wanted him to have the dates as early as possible, in the hopes that he can clear his schedule and make the 3,000-mile trek eastward this coming fall. 

While I did go back to the friend that told me Kevin had died, to let him know that that was not the case; I’ve not really shared any other details with anyone. I simply respected the fact that Kevin hadn’t “gone public” by acquiring a social media account and I didn’t want to be the one to breach his privacy. 

In our most recent email exchange, Kevin sent me a link to a blog that he has just started.  (Details to follow.)  This blog was created at the request of Kevin’s publishing agent.  Kevin has a book written, but needs to show the support of a website with ample followers.  He’s asked me to spread the word.  In fact, here is a pretty comical excerpt from our most recent back-and-forth:

Kevin: If you can pass along my website <http://www.bikesandbuddies.com> to folks [from CV] that would be great. Specifically, I need people to subscribe to the email updates. Why? I have a book written and with an agent. The roadblock to getting publishing houses to take it on is an on-line audience. They see this as a “built in audience” that will buy the book. The book is done and I just need the support of a website with considerable followers and it will be published.

There will only be one update every 3-4 weeks, so you wont’ get a bunch of crap. Besides, the folks at CV might like it.

Me: I've subscribed to your blog and will happily share it via Facebook and Pinterest.  Up until now, in the interest of protecting your privacy, I've not told anyone that I was able to track you down.  If I share this with them, can I tell them that you are the creator?

Kevin: My god yes. I assumed that after you found out I wasn’t dead you told everyone. Just the other day I was joking with my wife that the CV crowd thought I was in the grave.  That’s funny shit.  I hope the rumors were something stellar like: I was driving a plane on coke with 50 hookers and ran into Mount Rushmore. That’d be bitchin’.

Spread it far and wide and get them to sign up (which will make the already-written book a reality). They can read some of the whacky crap I’ve been up to.

Me:  I think everyone thinks it was a car accident.  But I’m sure [everyone thinks] there were hookers involved!!  LMAO

So, to summarize: 

1) Kevin – since I can’t let you died (ahem, again) without saying it.  I always thought you were awesome!  :) 

2) Kevin is alive and well!!  He looks great and has a beautiful wife!  And they’ve just recently welcomed a beautiful little boy into the world!  You can catch up with him on his site, at: http://www.bikesandbuddies.com/

BUT THE KEY IS TO SIGN UP FOR HIS UPDATES!!!!  It takes 2.2 seconds!!  (Yeah!  I actually timed it!!) 

So go, now!!  Sign up!  Read his first post.  I did and it was awesome!  I loved it!!

Now, I’m just going to sit back and anxiously await his next post!

Anyone care to join me?