Devastated Pride

I did not intend for this to be my initial (flying solo) blog.  But as many of you know, Penn State University holds a place in my heart that I liken to my children.  I (generally) love it, unconditionally.

So, it should be of no surprise that the recent events surrounding Jerry Sandusky (former assistant football coach, 1977 – 1999) are fresh on my mind.  And, for those that know me well, you know that I’ve got a whole lot to say about it.

Exclusive to my fellow PSU alumni, most specifically my friends who played football during Jerry Sandusky’s reign as assistant coach:  I sincerely hope what I have to say doesn’t offend you in any way.  All of you are amongst the most amazing people I know.  To my former-player friends – you are some of the most stellar men I’ve ever known.

 Next.  If you are making jokes about this situation - if you are one of the ones that think this recent news is “sweet” because you don’t like Penn State, or more specifically an entity of Penn State (i.e. the football team).  I have the following to say to you:  First (my more minor point): You are delighting in a situation that involves PSU in a fairly minor way - though that's not how the media is spinning it.  You are delighting in an issue that revolves around a man that hasn’t worked for the University in 13+ years.  You are delighting in an issue that has FAR more to do with a charity this man created that has NEVER been associated with the University.  From everything that I’ve read, Penn State was only ever involved because this man utilized his relationship with the University to lure a boy into one of it’s locker rooms. 

Beyond that, and my bigger point:  If you are a “hater” joking about and delighting in this situation, you are a classless piece of trash.  And here is why.  You are a low-level thinker who is more concerned with the trashing of a program within a University that has an otherwise clean record.  What you should be thinking about are the countless lives that are ruined by these allegations. 

If the allegations against Jerry Sandusky are true, you should be thinking about the young men whose childhoods have been destroyed – whose lives will never, ever be the same.  You should be thinking about the parents who will have to live with the guilt of not being able to protect their child from the worst kind of predator.  You should be thinking about the family of the accused and what they will need to endure for the rest of their lives (or what they possibly have been enduring for years).  You should be thinking about the officials who have been investigating these allegations for the past two years, because the information they’ve obtained – the specifics they’ve been made privy to – are life-changing.  They are images that even a non-victim will struggle with forever. 

On the flip side – if these allegations go unproven (something that I highly doubt):  This man’s life has been ruined.  This man’s wife’s life has been ruined.  His children’s lives, his grandchildren’s lives, etc. 

If you are delighting in this situation in the least, you should think long and hard about karma.  Karma, from a literal perspective, should have you hoping that you, your wife, your children, your grandchildren, your nieces and nephews – even your parents  -  never fall victim to a sexual assault.  Karma, in its literal sense, should have you hoping you, your wife, your child, your grandchild, your niece, your nephew, your parent are never accused of being a predator.

Of course, they say that karma works in mysterious ways.  And maybe karma has invoked itself already, by not allowing for someone like you to be a higher thinker.  Maybe karma's wheels were set into motion the day fate decided your level of intelligence (or lack thereof).  Maybe karma has already played out, by turning you into a classless piece of trash, who is more concerned with a blemish on a football program than the many, many lives that are being affected by a despicable, horrific situation.

If there is any part of these allegations that you think are funny, if you are delighting in any of this, you are a classless piece of unintelligent trash.  And if you are sitting reading this, trying to come up with some excuse for your piss-poor thought process (something like, “It was just a joke.”) you are a bigger fool than you’ve already proven yourself to be.  If you are one of those low-level thinkers who want to pull me into a discussion about why you think this is funny or “sweet,” just know that I have the ability and the intelligence to argue your stupid ass right under the table.  I will choose not to though, because I know that there is no cure for your kind of uneducated, classless mentality.

To you, Jerry Sandusky (though I’m sure my opinion is no where near your priority list):

If by some miracle you are found innocent of these 40 charges, I truly apologize for what I’m about to say.

If you are truly innocent, then you are by far the dumbest human being that I’ve encountered in the past two+ decades.  Any adult who works with children should always, ALWAYS take precautions against the possibility of these types of allegations.  Children should never, NEVER be left alone with an adult.  Any organization that deals with children should always, ALWAYS ensure the safety of participating children by never, NEVER allowing an adult to be alone with a child.  This is BASIC stuff.  Under the unlikely assumption that you are innocent – you should NEVER have allowed yourself or any other adult within your organization to be alone with a child.  Under the assumption of your innocence – you are a complete fool. And that is the best I can say about you.

Unlike many of my fellow alumni who are not quick to judge, I’m taking my stand now. (And I'll respectfully reserve the right to change my mind, as I see fit.)  I think you are as guilty as the day is long.  I base my opinion on two things.  1) The countless hours I’ve spent in the same room as you.  2) As much of the Grand Jury’s case as I could stomach reading. 

When I first met you, I was a high school senior at my school’s football banquet.  You were the guest speaker.  After the program, I had a chance to meet you and I found you to be (at best) distracted, (at worst) rude.

A couple of years later, as a PSU student working first in the Football Dining Room and later in the Athletic Academic Support Office, I found you to be abrasive and arrogant.  During Wednesday's Family Nights in the Dining Hall, I also thought the general demeanor of your entire family was odd.  You all moved around like a singular unit, never interacting with the other coaches and their families or the players.

While being distracted and rude, abrasive and arrogant does not a pedophile make.  I’ve sat and read as much of the Grand Jury’s investigation as I could and I can’t help but remember how you were the only staff member that I never liked.  And I can't help comparing the arrogance I witnessed over countless hours with the level of arrogance it must take to molest a child/children in public places.

Some may chastise me for voicing my opinions prematurely.  They are entitled to that.  But, we aren’t talking about a two-week-long investigation – we’re talking about a two YEAR investigation.  We aren’t talking about one or two indictments – but 40.  We aren't talking about one victim, but eight.  And we are also talking about instances that involved not just you and your victim(s) but WITNESSES, as well.

I’ve upped my opinion of you to include vile and disgusting.  Subhuman.  Non-human. Anti-human.

I am disgusted that not only have you abused your power over children, but you also abused your position within a community.  You didn’t just prey on children, you preyed on the parents that trusted you, based on your career as an assistant coach for one of the most prestigious collegiate football programs in the nation and as the founder of a popular and successful children’s charity. 

I hope you get everything you have coming to you, but my prediction is that you are too much of a coward to ever see this trial/sentencing through to the end.

I hope (beyond all hope) that the involvement of the Administration at Penn State is limited to what has already been brought out into the open.  I hope (beyond all hope) that there is nothing more that immerges to taint the image of my University.

I pray for all those who have been effected by your human deficiencies:  The victims and their families, your family (assuming their ignorance), the investigators on this case, The Second Mile Admin, University Officials, even the prison guards who will have to look after your pathetic excuse for a soul – should it come to that.   I pray that your victims are able to stop the cyclical nature that this type of abuse almost always elicits.  But I will never pray for you.  My religious beliefs (or lack thereof) won’t allow for that.  I believe you are beyond hope, beyond redemption.  You are not worthy of forgiveness.  You are completely and utterly useless to society and the afterlife.

Tonight when I tuck my children into bed, I am going pray for the wisdom to make choices that will never put them in harm’s way.  I will never, NEVER allow myself to be so enamored by someone’s level of stardom - by someone’s fame or fortune - to trust them with my children.  

 I will protect my children with every ounce of my being.  I will devote every ounce of my resources and intelligence to keeping them safe from the evils of this world.  I will teach my children to be of strong mind and body.  And I will teach my children to stand up for those who are too weak to stand up for themselves.

Anyone care to join me?

Amy Comiskey
Penn State University Alumi
Public Policy - Concentration:  Law & Justice
1997